Sexual peaks
One of my favourite tension breakers at work is to talk about sex. Without offending anyone I will just introduce a topic. The one where I can get the most mileage of with the ladies goes something like this.
Isn’t it badly done? Who made these rules anyway?
This usually captures my audience’s attention.
Think about it, women reach the height of their sexual activity in their 40’s while men, reach theirs between 18-25.
The reaction is usually interesting and so is the conversation that entails. From "my husband doesn’t leave alone" to "my husband barely knows I exist" … and of course everything else in between like: Linda claims she’s become so close with her bedside toy, she calls him Arthur.
But seriously, what’s your take on it?
We’re not debating wether it’s right or not here. We’re looking at the out come. So are young ladies in their 20’s just flattered and go along with it, while young men just thrust away their manhood into them.
Surely, matured men(hopefully) have studied this situation and are happy to oblige their companion skillfully, elegantly all in the while still benefitting from the activities.
I’m not looking for a discussion on aging here, mind you if you’re interested you can read Aging and The Sexual Response Cycle.
So when is sex 100% compatible? Depends on the couple doesn’t it? Depends on circumstances. I’d like to make everyone happy and say: All the time, it just isn’t so. I hope for most of you very often though.
9 comments
I think younger males are more curious, more open to experimentation and because many of them are free of major responsibilities, unlike men over the age of 35 for example, they have more time and don’t tend to think of sex as ‘the fuck’. Sure enough, in the blogosphere everything tends to be glamorised or have the rose coloured effect/soft focus lens equivalent added, but if I compare all my experiences I’d say that I’ve felt freer sexually with younger men than with those my age or over who tend to be more focused on proving their virility rather than focusing on the erotic journey. With younger males (those up to a decade younger than me) I’ve found that they don’t keep an eye on the clock, or alternatively focus on ‘if’ they’re going to get it.
But, younger males, depending on their own personal experiences, end up growing older as well, so it all depends on personal experience.
It’s difficult to determine sexual activity, because that’s an individual libido thing, but in some cases it’s safe to say that the older a male, the more complications or ‘baggage’ that can exist, particularly if they tend to be attached or married. In those cases I’d advise women to seek the younger option: less headache and hassle.
I’m not sure how some older males feel (in relation to the younger female scenario) but I think it’s great that more women are opting, and don’t feel uncomfortable about, for the younger male in their life because they’re also free to be a sexual mentor as well. It may seem harsh, but I’ve found that males older than me, by ten or more years, are more thrilled about the idea of the conquest and proving their attractiveness, that’s not to say that younger males seek validation, everyone does, but in the older-younger scenario where males are the older ones, they tend to seek it more, it’s more obvious whereas women seek a virile male that is open to experimentation. The younger a person is, the more open to suggestion.
I’m basing the above on my own sexual life. If I could subdivide it into chapters (on a per person basis), it could be a novel (lol).
As always, Ana, you bring up an interesting perspective on this. Very valid too. I have however, in my experience, known more younger men that think of sex as “the fuck” as you so put it, than older men over 35.
I’ve heard less “got laid last night” or “did you get laid last night?” in my last 15 years than the first 15 years of sexual activity.
I’m not talking about the “get me a beer honey” type of guy either. I’m sure that once he’s 35 or over he may be as you put it. As you said, we can only speak of our own experiences. In mine, guys in my circle, steady marriage, are quite fascinated to watch the ladies blossom in their 40’s. All eager to please.
Romance and spark not at all lost. In many cases, revived. The ladies in the same circle, talk rather openly about the whole thing.
As for the older woman younger man scenario, I’m sure that’s very suitable too. As well as the older man and younger woman, that would also work.
Both situations bring on some stereotypes, not easy to deal with in a social situation. Hopefully for them, they can survive it.
Going through Main USA, a couple of years ago, on our way to the beach… Hundreds of motorcycles riding on our road. Expensive equipment, no toys less than $30,000 Us. All driven by men, probably in their late 40’s early 50’s.
On the back of each bike, was always a much younger lady. DW was quick to point out to me, that these weren’t their daughters.
Thank you for your input on this
I’m sure every personal situation will differ. But like you noted yourself, the motorcycle’s and the fact that the younger women weren’t their daughters.
I can’t say I’ve truly experienced sexual/intimate freedom with older man, due to various things: me finding out they’re attached, them being married (which limits a lot of things), them seeking physical fulfillment only but this is based on my own experience. The majority of males in my life have been older than me, and few have been younger. Both have their merits, it probably also depends on what’s desired by the individuals and realising the limitations of both setups from the sexual/emotional perspective.
Well first of all sexual peak really refers to how frequently and how strong a person becomes aroused. It has nothing at all to do with how well they do it. So I think it really matters very little if women’s peaks differ from men’s. I do think too much emphasis is placed on that fact. Young men can often go more often but is it more pleasurable? Sure its fun to get one’s hands on a nice hot young stud but the real satisfaction comes from what he can do to my mind and even more to my soul.
hugs
Des
It does matter if a woman has a high libido and a male needs a long resolution phase after sex, and more often older men do need a longer resolution phase, it’s a physiological fact that’s backed up by plenty of scientific research.
Anyway intelligence isn’t age specific. An older man can be just as dumb as the next younger man, ultimately it’s about compatibility for long term relationships, because they aren’t purely based on fucking or the physical. Longevity in a relationship is based on other things outside of the sexual peak.
Well one can base one’s thoughts on all the studies one likes. However my facts are based on my own personal experience. The truth is the older guys are generally more satisfying in bed than the younger ones and I have a very high libido but there is more to it then just humping like rabbits. What’s more you are right intelligence has nothing to do with age. However WISDOM does!
hugs
Des
Well sexual studies aren’t theoretical, they’re based on physiology and sexual activity.
At the end of the day, if sex is more about ‘mind’ communique, then all one has to do is sit in front of a PC and cyber all day, but when it comes to the ‘fuck’, then a penis is necessary: younger males have firmer erections, and the incline of the erection decreases with age and the recovery period between intercourse increases, regardless of what fiction is written.
by the way, when i refer to older, I mean men that would be a minimum of 20 years older than me, so that would make them 50 or over. Verbal surveys aren’t wholly accurate, on the survey on this page, the average monthly figure for men over forty is rather dismal if it’s broken down weekly. For males between the ages of 50-59, they’re having sex once a week on average but it would be more interesting to see what percentage of males this makes out of certain population: is it one million men, two million? And I’d further dare to say that the figure is more close to having sex twice per month, for those who are single/divorced because it’s not so easy to sleep with anyone in age of HIV either.
“…20 years older than me, that would make them 50 or over.”
Shit, I still have a chance!
So yes, younger males I’m sure could satisfy the ladie’s Blossomish 40’s that I’m refering to when it comes to “the fuck”. And for those younger men well versed, hopefully more fully aware and capable of doing just hump, all the better for the ladies.
But if this was just about servicing here, we’d probably be talking about dildos too. I meant a relationship that goes a bit beyond “the Fuck” (I like how you’ve coined this one).
I like the way this Discussion is going, I’ll be posting something in the sidebar to get more angles on this.
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