Posts from — August 2006

I do get inspired in the car on my way home sometimes. So this afternoon the in between song chatter was about things that turn you off. I made a point of noting the juicier ones.

From a guy: At the gym, walking back to the dressing room for a shower he observed some naked guy shaving at the sink. As he leaned forward, to get that close shave look in the mirror, his genitals hung all over the side of the sink.

From a girl: Also at the gym, as she walked back into the dressing room ready for a shower, she observed another lady shaving her genitals in the middle of the dressing room and was put off.

So of course, this got me thinking about my next post. Guess what people, not everything out there is rosy pink feel yummy for everyone. A little research turned up the following…

From: AskMen.com

Things That Turn Men Off

I have been known, amongst some of you to have an extensive collection of bedside toys, but when we’re out in the country, my choice of accessories change drastically. What follows is not one of my average posts with reviews or topics of discussion, still I thought it deserved sharing on this blog.

When on vacation, the anticipation of passionate love making during our secret get away in our secluded cottage is rapidly diminishing, year after year. This is by no means due to loss of interest towards one another. Au contraire, I would say things are going quite well for us in this department.

For years we had bats at the country house, I dealt with them. At first a bit of a game, I would put on garden gloves and catch the critters. Sure, you say, but they do get tired of fluttering and eventually settle down, behind an object like a curtain or hang inside a lampshade. You can also use a butterfly net but to be on the safe side, bring an old tennis racket

The more peaceful method would be to contain it in a closed room, open up the window, and hope it’ll find its way out. Problem there, is you usually come to your senses, and figure more might come in instead.

For a long time, no one believed us, or they figured these were isolated incidents, which might happen in the country side. 3 years ago, the roof was infested with them. We would actually be awakened by their squabbles in the ceiling. Sleep much? No!

Romance by fluttering bats, I don’t think so. I dare any guy to try and turn on the charm right after a bat episode. I also challenge anyone to come up with any findings on bat fetish.

My brother in law visited one week end, and sure enough, 2 were spotted in the course of the evening. That’s when the retaliation begun. The sonar emitters to keep these little guys away, were strategically placed around the top floor.

It appeared to work! This year when we arrived, we had two very good evening of sound sleep. No noises or squabbles in the ceiling. The machines appeared to be doing their jobs.

Last night, after a day of 36c of heat, I decided to have a shower. As I came out and dried myself with the towel, I happened to glance in the hallway. Sure enough, a large bat was fluttering around out there.

Our son’s sense of security, immediately shattered. He went into denial and decided to fall asleep in the living room, in a much safer environment. Meanwhile I geared up, got my adrenalin going and headed back up to the second floor. Closing off all the other rooms, except our room, where I went in and then closed the door.

That’s it, the bat and myself, all alone in a game of survival. If the bat is fluttering, there’s no sense in swinging the tennis racket. The more you swing, the more it flutters to home in and avoid it. It’s their radar system, that’s how it works. They send out and receive signals to gage the proximity of things. The more you swing, the more it tries to focus on it, the more it flutters.

If you can be cold blooded enough to sit still, it will eventually settle down. My first time around, I stayed behind the door, with it slightly ajar so I could see its movements. There were clothes behind the door. I opened it ever so gently, and with my yardstick, started moving and removing the objects hanging behind the door.

I eventually found it, but I wasn’t aggressive enough. It was nestling behind my brother in laws bathing suit. I swung at it a couple with the tennis racket and probably damaged it. Within seconds it was fluttering about and I was out of the room.

34c and hot, sweaty, I was in need of water and a smoke. Our son was almost asleep and managed “did you get it?” DW looked at me in anticipation and I said no not quite. I came down for break.

I got back upstairs, no fluttering bat, that’s good and that’s bad. One could just assume “all gone!” But I knew better. I started with the door again, moved to the dresser, the bed, the lamps etc… until I got to the curtains. ½ hour later, I found the bat hanging off the curtains.

I went back for another smoke downstairs, to help me cool off.

I went back up, and played with the underneath of the curtain. I raised it just enough to get a good view of its position. I slapped the tennis racket hard and held it pressed firmly against the curtain. Because of their tiny bodies, it actually takes a lot to put them down. With the butterfly net, in the other hand, I proded until I found it. I just held the rim of it against it’s little body. When I let go, it fell to the ground.

Victory! As I examined it, I also confirmed that this was one of the biggest ones I’d ever caught. It was grayish, unlike the other ones that had been brownish black. I worked it inside the net and parade it downstairs. DW, just looked at me with a big “You’re my hero” smile. Our son was fast asleep.

Two and half hours to catch the critter.

No nookie for the Hero… With the possibility of other critters lurking about… Not this night anyway! As I looked at the collection of bedside toys night after night, I grinned as I thought about this post. Not exactly what I had in mind for country romance!

I leave you with a few shots from my furry friend. I certainly hope you never run in to them and specially not during your "romantic vacation".

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Just stopping by at our local library, in Port Stanley, on Lake Erie.  Spoiled by the weather, couldn’t ask for more.  Had our first run in with "when a stranger calls" last night.  You’ll have to wait another week and a half for the details.

Thank you for your input on the previous post.  The first in the new grouping entitled "discussions".  I am certainly enjoying reading your comments while on the road.

If you would like to continue, or get  in on the action, let’s see if we can get some feed back from steady couples.  Assuming you are approximately the same age, have you noted and discussed with your partner Sexual changes in frequency, likes and desires?  Do you think it’s due to the fact that most women reach their sexual peaks in their 40’s?

Looking forward to hearing from you.  The library will be closed tomorrow, so I’ll try to drop in on Thursday.